The long wait was over, at 41 weeks and 6 days, Darius Li Yoder finally entered this world through the same route as his older brother. When people say "God works in mysterious ways" what they really mean is: "God will usually do it different than we anticipate." Just as three years ago, I prayed for a wonderful birth. Many of you kindly prayed with me. A friend heard from God that this delivery would bring restoration of the wound left from 3 years ago not on my body but on my soul. Of course I thought that would mean a successful VBAC, though in preparation I told myself that if I had another c-section I would have to be ok with it. But when it came down to the last appointment, with no labor after caster oil, four-wheeler riding, even an accidental fall on my butt on the stairs, and STILL no labor, expecting the doctor to pull the plug and schedule a c-section, I cried. I just wanted a chance. My doctor surprised me and scheduled an induction for that day instead. We hoped for the best. And so began the typical hospital cascade: Cook catheter, slow-dose pitocin, no progress, AROM, more pit (that's for my midwife friends) ..and...--**PAIN** --I completely underestimated the power of pitocin. I've heard many women describe pitocin contractions, but until you experience something yourself you might always think secretly that you could do it. Well, feeling- -WITH NO EXAGGERATION-- like a truck was crushing my pelvis, and THEN after almost an hour, "I'm sorry, no progress"!!! I asked for the epidural too. Somewhere in the middle of pelvis crushing pain, clinging to the strength of my loving husband, I said to myself, "I am totally ok if I never do this again!" That was the moment. The moment that God nudged my heart.
Then comes stadol, epidural, nausea, zofran.. I had more medication in that hospital than I ever had in my life. When our baby's heart rate took a long dip after hours of little progress Chadd and I looked at each other and nodded. That was the one non-negotiable. And so c-section prep began. But this time I was awake, Chadd got to come and hold my hand. I joked with the anesthesiologist. The emergent environment and uncontrollable disappointment of the first OR experience was gone. And the most amazing moment of all was the sound of immense emotion in my husband's voice when he looked over the sheet and exclaimed in bursting joy and shock, "IT'S A...BOY!!!" I will never forget that sound.
God did redeem my first c-section, the frustration, anger, disappointment, and confusion that we all walk through as Christians in the trials of maturity when prayers are not answered, when bad things happen to good people, when we wonder what's the point of praying if it doesn't happen... and if we come out on the downhill side we never pray again. But if on the uphill, we mature as believers with a faith that supersedes naive presumption. We learn that we aren't entitled to any blessings or favors. That God does work in mysterious ways. "For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole" (Job 5:18). And our reliance on our Savior's ever present Spirit in each and every day grows independent of the outcome of situations or even our prayers. Not a defeated "accept whatever comes our way with limp trudging along," but tenacious knowing that God's got something better. He's purposes are not the exterior but the growth of our spirit closer to Him and His kingdom. A faith that still prays for miracles when it's been years, knowing that we are adding to the bowl of intercession and one day the "and suddenly" may just tip it over bring the long awaited desire.
We have been blessed with my Mom for 3 weeks, Chadd's mom for 1 week, and my father from L.A. ("Ada" to Cyrus) for 4 weeks. Our church lovingly brought delicious meals. After only one year we have many friends and feel so surrounded and supported by community. Cyrus got a chance to fly back with my mom for a week in PA with doting family and cousins while Chadd and I had a quiet house with Darius, then fly back with Chadd's mom. Along with a new sibling taking mommy's attention and 9 consecutive weeks of grandparents, we've been addressing some more behavior challenges. But Cyrus adores his brother. And Darius already has a connection with big brother. I see him trailing along wanting to do everything Cyrus does. He loves him, unless he's being squashed or bumped or bounced a bit too hard...That's why younger siblings are so much tougher (wink wink to my siblings). See video below...
Our housing remodel has finally reached the exterior! Before and after pictures coming soon. Chadd painted the front and finished the porch this week. (I'll those pics after the final trim is completed). We've had a handful of strangers stop as they drive by just to say how great it looks. And our two elderly neighbors across the street enjoy the progress as my skilled husband turns this street's eyesore into the prettiest house on the block.
Pictures of our spring:
Magic show by Ada for a pizza party
at our home with all our friends
Cyrus' stage charisma being told to smile for the crowd.
Cyrus helping paint trim in the bathroom
remodel
Our little dirty mountain climber. Age 3,
climbed up 900ft elevation gain,
3 mile round trip on the Bodenburg Butte
Trail. A trail runner past us on the way down,
Cyrus watched, then dropped his water bottle
and took of after him!
The 360 view from the top of the Butte hike Ada and Chyrel,
a visiting friend from New Hampshire
Saturday morning activities
Ada storytelling time
My little cool dude 3 yr old teenager
Took our spunky neighbor girl Maia to a sunny day at the park.
Cousins!
Ada giving Chadd his two cents
for how to remodel the porch
Canoe ride with Nana at the lake right in our neighborhood.
I am blessed beyond expectation. I have three handsome brilliant men, the best job I've ever had, an increasingly beautiful home, and an awesome home state that we love more each passing month. We are official residents this month and are looking excitedly forward to dipnetting our quota of 55 salmon this year! and and hopefully a moose to fill our freezer and curb these Alaskan grocery prices. Alaska summer's are so incredible. It's hardly dusk from midnight to 3am, though you couldn't quite read a newspaper. I rarely get to bed before 11pm. Those who know me from my single days would be shocked. People actually can change!
Thanks for the updates and sharing your story! We miss you guys and hope to be able to come out to see you someday :) so happy for you with your beautiful growing family! Love from the Burrows fam
I loved spending time with you guys in Alaska and we loved the week CYRUS got to spend with us! Love you guys so much and wish Alaska wasn't sooo far away!
Sabrina, your life is beautiful! I love your heart!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the updates and sharing your story! We miss you guys and hope to be able to come out to see you someday :) so happy for you with your beautiful growing family! Love from the Burrows fam
ReplyDeleteWe hope you will come see us someday too! Our home is always open :)
DeleteI loved spending time with you guys in Alaska and we loved the week CYRUS got to spend with us! Love you guys so much and wish Alaska wasn't sooo far away!
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