New Year Update 2020

I have a rare moment with silence in the home, two sleeping babes, and my work and housework caught up! Lets see how much I can get typed before a child awakes.


It has been a year since my last post- which goes to show how busy our life has been this year. Here is our year in review, missing many events and details...

One of the many face time calls with Daddy

The kids and I went to Sitka for Chadd's
graduation. Beautiful arctic rainforest.

Early in the year Chadd spent 4 1/2 months away from his wife and kids at the Academy in Sitka, AK. It was stressful and difficult right off the plane, with sergeants yelling orders and profanities at the novice recruits. I spent many a phone call after the kids were finally sleeping those four months listening to his stress and strain and doubts of what he got himself into. But, with MUCH perseverance, being sprayed with mace, tased, ice plunged, and the immense academic challenges, the kids and I got to attend his graduation ceremony and Cyrus pinned on his badge.

Cyrus, Darius and a friend on our new paddle board last summer

 He has since went through the 16 week more intensive field training when two of his fellow graduate recruits quit or were let go. We now have an Alaska law enforcement patrol car in our drive way and have at least some consistency in his schedule. Every day is still a challenge.  I would say it has been the most challenging year as a family with the absence of dad and husband, me single-momming it, his stress in entering a new career, and everything else with family life.

"Ada" with Addy

 I was very blessed to have my dear friend Katrina and her daughter stay with us for 2 months while Chadd was gone. She was an incredible help and companion in my husband's absence. We also had visits from "Ada" last spring and my sister Melissa and her girls this Christmas! My parents have also been a incredible help in Chadd's absence and every week. They live just down the road and watch our kids when I work. We're happy to have them in Alaska!

Dad, Cyrus, and Sasha (my adopted brother), processing our
salmon for the year's dipnetting catch. 

My mom, grandma, and Addy wearing a dress
my grandma made for me when I was a baby.

Hope and my kids last spring.

Ice fishing last year winter with Katrina and Hope

Darius is Hilarious... now 3, he is the goofy comedian of our clan. He's always up for silly jokes and a crazy dance. He's one of those you have to force to be serious for a moment so we can get shoes on or finish his food. He has had to go through competition with Addy for parental attention, and fights with his older brother over toys and dominance. But his humor is now winning out and his tender heartedness and ability to communicate without screaming is increasing. There's always something to laugh about with Darius in the room.

Cyrus is 7 now. He is maturing every month. Though not too much to be reckless or jealous or disobedient of course. Boy if there was anyone to test our parenting skills this is the guy. But the hard work, the millionth reminder, and the creative discipline, does eventually have fruit. And sometimes he can be the kindest-hearted boy around. He also got in to the Junior Native Youth Olympics this year for the first grade "Seal-hop." Apparently this is a pretty big deal around here. He will practice before school for 3 weeks and compete in the district the end of the month. If he makes it his team will go to state competition in Anchorage!

 Adeline- Addy- has grown in leaps and bounds. From a barely crawling baby to a running, jumping, jabber-talking toddler. She is the cutest thing in this house and oober-smooshes our hearts with adorable-ness every day, even with the messes and teething and diapers. I never thought I'd have a girl or be into dressing her up, but honestly, it's been so much fun.

Cyrus ran over 100 miles in the school
year last year. This year he is already around
170 miles since August!

Chadd and I got to go hunting last fall in a new location.
Needless to say we won't be going back there, swarms of mosquitoes,
impossibly thick brush, and no moose. Thankfully, Chadd
got our moose on a later hunt in our favorite mountain spot. 

We also got a kitty- the day I drove Chadd to the airport. Husky the cat was a consolation of saying goodbye to dad and though he has suffered a good deal of beloved child-torture he his a wonderful first pet for our family.

My work, Mat-Su Midwifery and Family Health, continues with many schedule adjustments which my employer so gratefully allows to aid in dropping and picking up Cyrus and being home as if I can when Chadd is off with repetitive schedule changes. My work has started doing group medical visits and Centering Pregnancy groups. I have started conducting group visits for prenatals and anxiety and will be adding one for PCOS and young girls coming of age as well. This is exciting and invigorating along with challenging. The major pull is between home and work with many times feeling like I don't have enough time or energy to do either well.

One of the main reasons all of this was more difficult has been my personal health challenges. I haven't made any public reflections of the struggles I've gone through over the last 7 years, mostly because of being a functional medicine practitioner with the natural perspective that if I can't cure myself what good can I be to help anyone else. Or for the fear of sounding like a weak complainer. But I have been reminded by God many times that my struggles are the very thing that qualify me to help others. Someone who has had perfect success in curing themselves inevitably then preaches this one method as best and only cure for everyone under the sun. And if it doesn’t work for someone they assume they’re not doing it right. But one cure is not right for every person, and some people suffer through numerous trials and failures. I have been able to empathize with countless clients in my office who shed tears relaying their suffering-- not just out of tender compassion but out of having oft experienced the very same struggles. I know their pain and I can speak their hope. I know what it's like to try treatment after treatment with unpredictable success. I am still on the journey myself with no diagnosis or cure but many life adjustments, many lonely moments of crying out to God for help, and many self-talks of hope that allow more "good" days to be marked on the calendar every month. Most people with chronic unidentified illness suffer alone. But no one should have to suffer alone. And that is why my clients thank me for being the first provider who actually hears them.

Well that is us! until next time, hopefully before 2021...

(Ok, so that actually took me 3 weeks from start to finish. Ah the life of a working mother...)